No joy, no festivities for me or for you,
only football it seems in the year of ‘22.
Kids fast asleep, but no dream of Santa,
instead dreams of Kane, scoring a banger.
Hunger for Turkey or even roast hog,
replaced by the yearn for an overpriced hot dog.
Carols and singing forgotten by most,
replaced by chants intended to roast.
We’ve had it, we’re done. This isn’t football time,
it’s the moment of festivities, cheese and wine.
It’s about time Christmas clapped back at football,
for it’s sucking the yuletide from one and all.
The plugin, the plugin, oh what does it do?
Makes footie news festive just for you!
Ronaldo, Mbappé, Trippier too,
gone are their names, christmassified anew.
The beautiful game, xmas vibes low,
made more festive with the addition of snow.
Oh joy, oh praise, who to credit for such a thing?
Why it is Mother London’s name you should sing!
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